While everyone knows that the most psychologically healthy reason to have cosmetic surgery is based on internal motivations, some patients do experience external stimuli for it. I have had many ‘couple’ consultations where the husband, fiancee or significant other was just there for support for the female seeking some cosmetic enhancements. In almost every case the male was quick to say that they were just there to be supportive not to sway anyone’s opinion about the ‘need’ for plastic surgery.
Men are quick to state, even though they are never asked, that the desire for their partner’s surgical requests is their partner’s alone. They may say that because they do not want me to think that their partners are ‘forced’ to be there or maybe because thay secretly do want them to have the procedure but just don’t want to seem too eager.
This question was indirectly answered in a recent survey that appeared in a UK publication. In this survey, relationship-related questions were asked of over 1,200 men. Questions such as would you want your significant other to ever have plastic surgery and, if so, what surgery do you think she needs or should have? Would you be bold enough to tell her?
Interestingly, about a quarter of the men admitted that they did want their significant other to improve their appearance by undergoing plastic surgery. (only 20% said no) Of all the procedures listed, liposuction and breast augmentation topped most men’s wish list at 57% and 49% respectively. Rhinoplasty and Botox were at the bottom of the desired enhancements. A surprising 42% wanted their partner’s to have corrective dental work but this was a UK survery after all.
Despite the wish of some men for their partner’s to have aesthetic enhancements, less than half were willing to admit it to their partner. They weren’t willing do so because they didn’t want to upset their partner. Not surprisingly, fear of retaliation, an argument, or abandonment inhibited about a quarter of men from disclosing their cosmetic surgery wish list. Most interestly, the majority of men who wouldn’t admit to it said it was primarily because they felt their partner’s looks couldn’t be significantly improved even with surgery.
I don’t think the results if this survery were particularly surprising. Some men would like their partners to have plastic surgery, others don’t. Many men don’t think that plastic surgery can even help their partner’s appearance. Most men don’t want to tell their partners, even if they think it would improve their level of attractiveness, because they know that such admissions are often counterproductive. That may explain the men I see in their partner’s consultations who are so quick to state ‘they don’t care if she has plastic surgery or not…it is all their idea.’
Dr. Barry Eppley
Indianapolis, Indiana